If Someone Doesn't Deserve Someone It's Me
by Kendalls LogieBear
Summary: For  XxxAnimaniacxxX. M-preg. Kendall feels like he doesn't deserve James.


This is for XxxAnimaniacxxX, as a little thank you/holiday present, she's so wonderful and helpful, and a amazing writer so this is for you girly, and if you dont like this...I'll write fic after fic until you like one,lol.

Kendall couldnt help but feel self consious that morning, he looked at himself in the mirror again, sighing as he tried to straighten out the shirt that was cupping his bulging pregnant stomach, Kendall ducked his head, nothing looked good on him anymore, everything made him look like a fat, ugly whale.

Actually whales were kinda cute in a weird way...fuck, he was uglyier than a whale.

Kendall wipped away the little near that formed at the corner of his eye in annoyance, letting out a shaky breath, he hated how emotionl he got now, it was such a hassle when trying to show no weakness infront of Gustavo when he was yelling at him or infront of anyone else for that matter.

Kendall shock his head and walked away from the mirror, opening the door to his and James's room and wobbled his way down the stairs and into the kitchen where the rest of his family where eating breakfast, Logan and Carlos holding each others hand, and his mother and sister chatting as they ate there food, Kendall keeped his head down as he walked into, avoiding there eyes, crossing his arms over his stomach in a atemp to hide his stomach which didnt work in the lease.

"Morning baby." His mother said, smiling at him.

"Hi." he muttered, not looking at her.

"Hey buddy." Carlos chirped, he let go of Logans hand and ran over to Kendall, Kendalls eyes widenend as his head snapped up, his parental instinct kicking in, making him freak that Carlos was only THAT far away from slamming into his stomach before he stopped.

"Hows JJ doing today?" Carlos asked.

Kendall blushed at his Latino best friends words, this was all his fault really, when he and James had found out they where having a boy Kendall had started calling his baby JJ,  
>something no one not even James understood until in a weird game of Truth or Dare Logan, of all people, had forced him to reviel why he called his son that.<p>

James Junior. JJ for short, that would be his sons nickname he had decided.

Ever since then Cargan hadnt shut up about how adorable it was, and wouldnt stop teasing Kendall about it.

"He's okay." Kendall blushed, pulling his shirt down a little more.

"Nice and healthy I'm sure." Logan said, narrowing his eyes at him, Kendall rolled his eyes, ever since Kendall had found out he was pregnant Logan had been like his little live in nurse, always taking Kendall to the docters when James couldnt, and when the lover could take him Logan still insisted on going, he made Kendall eat right and took him out for walks, since apparently exercise was important, Kendall knew that the brunette was doing it out of the kindness of his heart but it annoyed him sometimes.

"You want food? I can make you something!" Carlos said, looking at Kendalls tummy with big, exited eyes, he was like a child when it came to the baby, Carlos saw the child as a future play mate, and was always eager to help Kendall.

"Where's James?" Kendall asked, ignoring Carlos's question, looking around nervously, finally realizing his boyfriend wasnt there.

"He went out for a run,honey." Mama Knight said, easing Kendalls tension.

"How long ago did he leave?" Kendall asked.

"When me and Logan were getting out of the shower." Carlos said with a shrug.

"Oh..." Kendall whispered, Kendall looked over at Logans hair, noticing it was perfectly dried making him frown, Logan always air dried his hair and in the cold hair coming from the AC it would have been a while.

"I'm sure it wont be much longer Kendall, its really nice outside today, he probably just did a couple extra laps around the park." Logan assured him, the older knew of Kendalls fear, Kendall hated it when James wasnt near him, a horrible sense of anxiety took up his mind, thinking James would never come back, he knew he was stupid, James loved him after all, but just the thought of it scared Kendall to dealth.

"Yeah..." Kendall shot a anxies look towards the door.

Carlos got up and dragged him over to the kitchen, making sure the blonde didnt trip.

"Come eat,buddy, he'll be back by the time your done I bet." Carlos tried to relax him, but the still stressed look on the blondes face told him it wasnt working.

"I guess." Kendall said.

In a few minutes time Kendall was sitting inbetween Logan and Carlos, his plate high with food that he knew he would have eaten down in a matter of seconds if the others werent there, Ham, like real ham, not that nasty cheap shit that they claimed was real ham for breakfast, no this ham was right from the leg that people usually got for Christmas, eggs that where drowning in chedder cheese with some bacon tapped onto the side, a whole plain bagel with a ridiclous amount of cream cheese, a dozen small pickles on a side plate...  
>..Kendall licked his lips, he had been craving salt his whole pregnany, it seeming like the only think to relieve his hunger.<p>

"Me and Mom are going to the mall." Katie announced as she got up and grabbed her mothers arm, tragging the red head and her purse to the door, the mom rolling her eyes.

"Dig in buddy." Carlos encouraged, pointing to the food.

"I'm not really hungry." Kendall lied.

"Lier. You looked starved, not eating can hurt JJ Kendall, do you want your son to starve?"

There was Logan for you, always guilt tripping you into doing the right thing.

Kendall picked up a pickle and took a baby bite, the way he would normally eat it, no one would have expected it but when Kendall wasnt pregnant he ate like a little bird, so he did the same right now, even if he did want to swallow it all whole.

"My old Rabbit, Hester ate faster then that." Carlos said with a frown.

Kendall smiled.

"I like rabbits." he said.

"Maybe James will get you and JJ one." Logan said with a smile.

"I want a brown one." Kendall giggled.

"You'll have to remember to tell James that." Logan grinnend.

"Can I play with it too?" Carlos pouted.

"Maybe." Kendall smiled.

Kendal relaxed a little bit, this felt like old times which was a rare thing, over the last eight months everyone had been treating him different and it really pissed him off, when all he really wanted was to be treated like he was his normal self, Kendall grinned, suddenly not so insecure and started hogging all the food on his plate, he was pretty sure he stool some food from Logans and Carlos's plates as well put they didnt seem to mind, not even when his plate was finished Kendall grabbed Carlos's last corn dog, he just rolled hs eyes and allowed the blonde to hog all the food in the amediate area.

Kendall was so intertainend by the food he was eating he didnt even notice when the door to 2J opened until his gorgeous boyfriend was standing infront of him, chuckling at Kendalls puffed up face because his cheeks where filled with food.

Kendall swallowed it all whole, blushing as he wipped his mouth with his sleeve and wipped his greasy hands off on a napkin that Logan handed him.

"Hey babe." James laughed.

Kendall ducked his head, blushing darker.

"Hey..." he crossed his arms across his stomach again, trying to re-hide his stomach.

"Your looking good today,love." James said with a smile.

Kendall snorted.

"Sure I do." he said sarcastically.

"Huh?"

"Nothing." Kendall muttered.

James frownend and came around so he was standing behind Kendall, wrapping his arms around Kendalls waist and resting his head into Kendalls soft hair.

"Whats wrong?" James asked.

"Nothing...I want a bunny." Kendall said, wanting to change the subject.

"Oh do you?" James chuckled.

"Yeah, a brown one." Kendall said, getting into it a little.

"Mmmm, well what would you name it?" James asked.

"Hazelnut. Cuz I like Hazelnut coffee." Kendall giggled, James kissed the back of his neck softly.

"Your so cute."

Kendall smiled and leanend back into James, letting the pretty boy hug him...pretty boy, his boyfriend really was the most gorgeous thing ever, it really made Kendall wonder why the hell James was with him sometimes, adding pregnant on top of that, he was so gross, he wished he was at least slightly attractive that way maybe he would deserve James, hundreds of fans agreed with him, they thought he was ugly,the last time he had left the apartment alone Kendall had gotten a glass bottle thrown at him which was when he was around two months pregnant.

The glass had clashed against his stomach and he had fallen, head hitting the side walk, someone had called the police and the ambulance had brough him to the hospital, he had almost lost his baby, and since then someone had to be with him when he left the apartment, most of the time it was James, but Carlos was just as good of a protecter, and no one would cross Logan when he was in docter mood.

Kendall sighed and rested his head against James's arm.

James really was to good for him.

Kames Kames Kames Kames Kames Kames Kames

Kendall was sitting on the couch in 2J just waking up from a two hour nap, he didnt get alot of sleep turing the night so he usually took a bunch of cat naps throughtout the day,  
>at first it had been a challenge for Carlos to be quieter, but after a warning of "I swear to god if you wake up Kendall when he's sleeping I'll never let you fuck me again" by Logan the Latino had learnend quickly to shut his mouth.<p>

Kendal stretched and pulled down his sweatshirt so it was more secure, rubbing his belly with a smile when he felt his son kick the side of his stomach.

"Did you good sleep to,baby boy?' Kendall whispered.

Another kick on his right side.

Kendall grinnend taking that as a yes from his son as he got himself up off the couch, he looked around the apartment, his mom and sister will where still gone and so was James, making him frown, only smiling again when he saw the adorable sight before him.

Carlos and Logan where sitting on the floor by the end of Swirly, Carlos was sitting perfectly still, the younger boys head in his lap as he read his book, the Latino running his fingers threw the brunette strands.

"Hey." he croaked.

Logans head snapped up as did Carlos's, they grinnend at the blonde.

"Hello SleepingBeauty." Carlos said making Logan giggle.

"Nice hair." Logan commented.

Kendalls hands shot up to pat down his hair until it was back in its place, sending a quick look at himself in James's full length mirror to see his hair was okay.

"Where's James?" Kendall asked.

"At the pool, he didnt want to wake you up." Carlos explainend.

"Oh..." Kendall muttered.

"He wanted us to come get him when you woke up." Logan told him, sitting up a little making Carlos pout.

Logan rolled his eyes at him.

"Thats okay, I'll just go get him." Kendall said as he put on his shoes.

"Are you sure? What if-" Kendall cut Logan off with a amused look.

"All I'm doing is going down the elevator Logan, then ten steps threw the lobby and then James will be with me, I'll be fine Logan." Kendall assured his friend.

Logan seemend hesitant to agree with the blonde, he looked at him for a second, unsure, before he nodded and slowly put his head back into Carlos's lap.

"Dont give yourself a panic attack Log." Kendall giggled, before the older could respond Kendal was leaving the apartment, shutting the door behind him, he made his way onto the elevator and pressed the Lobby button, whsitling threw his teeth for the whole thurty seconds it took him to get down there.

When the elevators opened Kendall was meet with a bunch of stares, ones he was used to, the newcomers always stared at him, it was something he expected though he wanst used to,  
>and who would?<p>

The ones who had been there for a will smiled at him or gave him a little nod, they all knew Kendall, they all knew he was in a relationship with James and he was pregnant, that he was having the 'Kames' baby as the fans that loved Kames called it.

"Hey Kendall."

Kendall turnend his head to see Camille walking up to him, dressed normally for once as she approcahed him.

"Hey Camille." Kendall said.

"Its nice to see you out and about,dear, I havent seen you in forever." Camille teased him.

"I was out here two days ago with James." Kendall reminded her.

"Yeah but I'm used to seeing you every day." Camille pouted, Kendall laughed at her.

"Well soon you'll see me AND the baby alot more."

Camille smiled as her eyes fell onto Kendalls rounded stomach.

"And how is JJ this fine afternoon?" she asked.

"He's good...have you seen James?" Kendall asked her.

"Yeah...he was outside the gym a little while ago."

Kendall nodded at her and went to walk past her, but she grabbed his arm before he could mood, he gave her a confused look.

"You have to walk across the pool area."

"So? I do it all the time." Kendall rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, but Tylers cousins are visiting him...there not bad, not really...they get just get a little exited, they might knock you over,let me help." Camille grabbed his arm and lead him carefully around all the pool chairs and people, every now and then someone would call out a 'Hey Kendall' or 'Hows the baby?' with he answered back with a smile and a 'Hey' or 'He's just fine.'

"Camille that is really unnesassary." Kendall told her, she ignored him as they entered the gym area, they both looked around to see that James was no where in sight.

"Hey Ozzie have you seen James?" Camille asked the husky boy who was ligting weights.

"Yeah...he went to the park." Ozzie said.

Camille nodded and pulled Kendall out of the gym area and threw the pool until they where back in the lobby, Camille tried to persuad him into letting her bring him but the blonde wasnt having it, and no one in the world could say they had come out on top when in a agrusment with Kendall Knight.

Camille finally caved and said okay, leaving Kendall to make his way into Palm Woods Park, the summer wind ghosted threw his hair, the sun rays reflecting off the golden tuffs of blonde locks, the smell of sunshine and flowers filled his nose making him smile.

Kendall almost wanted to take off his shoes and feel the soft grass inbetween his toes, but he would wait until he found James for that one, maybe him and James could have a little date in the park, they could sit under that oak tree in the back of the park and maybe they could-

Kendall gasped at what he had just walked onto.

James was pressed up against a tree, Rachel was pressed up against him, lips connected in a hard kiss.

Tears welled up in Kendalls eyes, breaths suddenly coming out in puffs, his lungs tightning as he tried to breath threw the sobs that where suddenly erupying from his throat.

James was pushing Rachel off of him, eyes widening as his eyes fell on the heart broken blonde.

"Kendall-"

"Fuck you James!"

"Kendall its not what it-"

"Save it!"

Kendall was turning around and running, far faster then someone who was pregnant normally could have gone, much faster then he should have been, but at that moment he didnt care,  
>he couldnt handle it, he ran threw the park, ignoring all the calls for him to come back, he sprinted threw the lobby, ignoring everyone has they called out to him, eyes wide with shock to see Kendall crying, he raced up the stairs, and then down the hall to 2J, renching the door open as a sob escaped his lips.<p>

"Kendall-" Logan tried to say but Kendall pushed past him, running up the stairs to his and James's room, slamming the door behind him, locking it before falling onto the king sixe bed, sobbing into the pillow.

Mean While:

Carlos and Logan where beyond shocked, hardly able to believe what they had just seen, they where interrupted by the door opening and a panting James coming threw.

"Wheres Kendall?" he gasped out.

"What did you do!" Logan growled, edvancing on the taller boy.

"It wasnt what it looked like!" James cried.

"I dont give a shit what it looked like! What the fuck did you do to him!" Logan yelled.

"Just tell me where the fuck he went!" James yelled, ignoring the pist off brunette.

"Tell me what you did!"

"He saw me kissing Rachel!"

Logan looked ready to punch James in the face, he actually went to do so but before he could Carlos beat him to it, punching him square in the jaw.

"Carlos!" James yelped.

"You arrogant asshole! How could you do that to him!"

James's eyes where huge, shocked to see the sweet Latino act like this, he couldnt believe he had punched him, he had expected Logan to do it but not Carlos.

"It wasnt what it looked like!" James defended himself, Logan punched him this time, right on the nose.

"LOGAN!"

"YOU MOTHERFUCKER! HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO KENDALL! AND TO YOUR SON! YOU WORTHLESS EXCUSE FOR A FUCKING HUMAN BEING, I SHOULD FUCKING KILL YOU!" Logan screeched.

James ignored him, in one second he was twisting his way past the two murderous boys and then he was pounding up the stairs, running as fast as he could from the other two whow where quick to follow him, James screeched as Carlos lunged for him, missing him by a inch, thankfullly Logan fell over him giving him a chance to get to his and Kendalls door, James knew it was locked so instead of knocking, he kicked the door handle, breaking the lock to the door, he pushed it open,slamming it shut, he grabbed the chair to Kendalls desk and renched it against the knobe so Carlos and Logan wouldnt get in.

Kendall was sitting up and glaring at him when he turnend around.

"Get out." he whispered, wipping away a tear.

"No."

"Get the fuck out of here James." Kendall glared.

James sat down on the bed and grabbed Kendalls hands before he could pull them away.

"Listen to me...it wasnt what you thought it was." James whispered.

Kendalls lips were trembling.

"You were making out with Rachel." Kendall sobbed.

"I didnt-I swear I didnt do it-I...she forced herself on me."

Kendall snorted.

"You expect me to buy that shit of a excuse!" Kendall spat.

"Its the truth, Kendall, god I swear I would never do anything like that, I love you so much, I would never." James pleated for him to believe him.

Kendall stood up and went for the door but James grabbed him by the shoulders, he trapped Kendall against the wall, not allowing him to move.

"Let me go,James."

"Your not going anywhere." James snapped.

Kendall ducked his head, tears falling on James's shirt.

"I DIDNT make out with Rachel, she just said she wanted to show me these roses in the park, she told me she thought you would like them, and then she pressed me against the tree and thats when you came, and thats all, I didnt do anything with her I swear!" James blurted out.

Kendall hand raised, ready so slap James right across the face, but before he could James grabbed his wrist.

"Let me go." Kendall growled.

"No! Why cant you just listen to me! Why cant you just believe me!" James demanded, looking like he was going to cry.

"Because I knew that this was gonna happen." Kendall sobbed, struggling in his bonds.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean! You actually thought I would ever cheat on you!"

Kendall whimpered and ducked his head.

"N-no! I knew you would find someone better...someone who deserved you." Kendall whisprered.

James's face softenend, he let go of Kendall and cupped his face, so Kendall was looking up into his eyes.

"What do you mean? You think you dont deserve me?' James was shocked.

Kendalls chin was trembling as he nodded.

"Your so gorgeous James...I could never own up to you, your so perfect, and amazing and beautiful, and I'm so so ugly and stupid, I've always known that I wasnt good enough for you James, I knew one day you would find someone better." Kendall whispered.

"Kendall..."

"And I've always been so s-scared f-f-for that d-day, I-I lov-love y-you so m-much, I dont want to lose you." Kendall sobbed.

"Kendall..."

"And I'm so ugly, you deserve better, everyone knows it, evreyone thinks it, I'm such a freak, and I'm gross, my eyebrow and nose and hair are discusting and I'm body is hideous."

"Kendall..."

"And now I'm pregnant, James I love this baby as much as I love you, but now your gonna be stressed about him, and I'm so fucking huge and discusting now."

"Kendall..."

"Your so beautful James, s-so perfect, your so amazing, I dont deserve you and I-"

"KENDALL WILL YOU STOP THAT!"

Kendall jumped a little at James loud voice tone, looking up at James with wide eyes.

"Never say that about yourlself, your gorgoeus Kendall, you do deserve me, and if someone doesnt deserve anyone, I dont deserve you."

"Dont be stupid James."

"I'm serious...your the most wonderful person, your so kind and sweet and your the most loving person I've ever meet in my life, your so damn perfect, and if people actually think that, they should jump off a fucking bridge, because your perfection, and there jealous."

"James..." he whispered.

"And I love this baby." James's hands moved down so they cupped Kendalls stomach. "I thank god every day for blessing us with this baby, now where a family, and its all thanks to you and I've never been happier in my life, you and are baby mean everything to me."

"James..."

"And I'm not perfect Kendall, far from it, I make mistakes all the time, like waiting until we where fourteen to ask you out, and being stupid enough to believe that Rachel was actually a person I could trust. I made the mistake of not being the best boyfriend I could ever be when we where younger, I love you and our son with all my heart, both of you are perfect, and I dont deserve either of you, I'm just thankful that you settled." James smiled.

Kendall was quiet for a second, he looked down at James's hand for a second,before looking up and wrapping his arms around James's neck.

"I love you James." Kendall whispered.

James leanend down and kissed Kendal tenderly, caressing his sides as there lips moved in perfect sync, Kendall pulled away after a second, breath slightly hitched and Kendalls eyes glazed.

"I love you too Kendall." James whispered.

"I'm sorry I thought you would ever cheat on me James." Kendall whispered.

"Your already forgiven, as long as you promise to always love me the way I love you." James said, making Kendall blush.

"I've always loved you James." Kendall smiled.

James smiled and hugged Kendall blush agianst his body, being careful of Kendalls belly, he pressed his lips against Kendalls forehead before laying his head on Kendalls head.

"Hey James?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you still gonna get me my bunny?"

Kames Kames Kames Kames Kames Kames.

Two months later James David Diamond Jr was born, he looked just like James parted with Kendalls eyes, much to Kendalls enjoyment. James purposed to Kendall, there due to be married next April in Minnesota, after they move into there new aprtment one floor up from 2J.

And James and Kendall would always love each other.

I hoped you liked this XxxAnimaniacxxX!  
>So this was actually kina fun, maybe I'll right another Kames story one day, definetly gonna try Kenlos too.<br>I know there was heavy Kogan friendship...I couldnt help myself, I HAD to have Logan close to Kendall in some way, thought hopefully it wasnt annoying to you all.  
>Hope you enjoyed,<br>Sarah 


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